Someone please help im so sad?

im a 14 year old guy and life right now is sort of complicated. I was raised in a baptist home and went to a strict church and i am actually gay, and i cant tell anyone and i wont because ill get treated awful. People already think i act girly and i have no life. I feel like im living a lie by saying that im straight and i like this girl and that girl and when i tell my family "dont worry ill find a girlfriend" when they ask me if i have one yet. Im so depressed and i hate my life and i didnt choose to be this way...it's just not fair! so could someone give me advice on what to do with my life?